A year ago I had lunch with a friend, and I had the honor of presenting him with a quilt. Ira is a longtime acquaintance but recent friend, someone who knew my son but didn’t really know me or my husband, though we have several mutual friends. And we have something in common that has bonded us forever.
A few years ago, Ira was diagnosed with breast cancer. More than 275,000 women in the US are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. Men can also have breast cancer, though they account for only around 1% of cases.
Ira was treated and his cancer was in remission. In Fall of 2019, Ira found out his cancer had metastasized to his liver. When that happens, it is not liver cancer. It is still breast cancer. And though there are a variety of treatments that can extend life, metastasized breast cancer is a terminal disease.
Educator, composer, performer, conductor, coach, husband, dad, grandpa, friend. When he got the terminal diagnosis, Ira had recently retired from his career as a music professor. Even outside of the university setting, even with cancer, he still carries on all of these roles. I made him the quilt to commemorate the part he played in my son’s life, and his retirement, and to provide comfort as he deals with his changing health. He has told me he sits with the quilt on his lap as he composes now.
But Love Lasts. 42″ x 51″. For Ira. 2020.
The leaf-style blocks are called “Maple Leaf” blocks. They were made by both my sister and me in four different sizes from 6″ to 15″, using a 3″ overall grid. I showed you the beginning of the leaves project here. (She got all the ones I didn’t use.) The layout is my own design, with 3″ finished squares to fill.
The name of the quilt is “But Love Lasts.” The name evolved over the weeks that I worked on the quilt. It started with my thoughts about seasons, and especially the notion “to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” Cultural references are from both Ecclesiastes and from Pete Seeger’s “Turn Turn Turn.” Seasons turn. The maple leaves turn to brilliant reds and golds, dropping from trees to turn again a dusky brown, and finally to dust as snow falls, days begin to brighten, and tender shoots erupt in warmth again.
Seasons turn. But love lasts.
He is surrounded by love, the love of his family and friends and people beyond his knowing, now and before him and after him. Love lasts.
When I saw Ira for lunch, I presented the quilt in a cloth tote bag I made, decorated with a few of the 3″ patches cut for the quilt.
Catbird Quilt Studio 
Beautiful post honoring your friend and beautiful quilt filled with love.
He got great news very recently. His liver tumors have shrunk a bit. It’s a temporary stay, but makes the treatment worth it.
What a beautiful tribute and gift!
Thank you!
What a lovely quilt and a lovely idea! And I like the idea of a tote bag to go with it.
Thanks, Mary. I’ve made a few pillow cases for bed-sized quilts, but I had never made a bag or casing for small ones. I think I’ll figure on it more often now.
A beautiful story, a lovely quilt, a special individual, a generous quilt and one very ugly disease. I’m sure you would have much preferred a cure for his disease. Perhaps you showed him the disease is not who he is, but what he has, and how he as a person is valued and loved. You are yourself very special.
Thank you. You’re very kind.
Your quilt is a lovely gentle reminder of seasons past. I hope your friend has the opportunity to see one or two more
Yes, I hope he does. Some people live for many years with metastatic breast cancer. Unfortunately, they are the exception still.
Your quilt is a lovely gentle reminder of the seasons your friend has enjoyed. Hopefully he will have a chance to experience a few more.
What a lovely friend you must be.
You’re very kind. Thank you.
So sorry to hear of your friend’s breast cancer metastasizing. Your offer of comfort in the form of your quilt, “But love lasts” is touching. Cathartic in the making, loving in the giving.
Thank you.
What a lovely thing to do. Also a good reminder that men are not immune from breast cancer.
That’s right. The probability is low, but as you know, even some things with a zero probability can still happen. Thanks for taking a look.
Lovely quilt – the love shines through!
Thank you!
Such a beautiful quilt for a loving and special friendship.
Thank you.
Oh my, I’m having a bit of trouble trying to see while I type. The thoughtfulness you put into this quilt, along with all the love and memories, is touching. I’m sure Ira knows how much he is loved. Life is precious, and flies by so quickly. I’m glad the two of you shared so many years of friendship.
He is a good man, a softie. He deserves some soft comfort in a hard time. Thank you.
Beautiful and well named very special quilt. Ira knows how much he is loved by everyone. In turn his love will be wrapped in the quilt to pass on to family.
I hope so. Thank you.
There is something about making a quilt for someone who will not be with us much longer. The investment of thought, and time, and effort tells them they are valued, beyond the short time we have left with them, beyond the friendship and its lasting memory. We are telling them that they are held in posterity, that this quilt signifies their continued meaning and importance to us long after their atoms are dispersed.
Well said. Thank you.
You have a beautiful heart.
Thank you.
The quilt is beautiful. He says he uses it all the time.
Thank you.